There is an episode of “The Big Bang Theory” titled “The Werewolf Transformation” in which Sheldon Cooper drives everyone crazy after his routine haircut gets delayed due to his regular barber being hospitalized. Sheldon proceeds to drive everyone crazy with his fixation on his hair growing longer than it should be, at a rate of “4.6 yoctometers per femtosecond” (which apparently is an accurate rate for hairgrowth. It translates to about 1.2 centimeters in 30 days).
While I’ve always found this episode very funny, this past month I have also found myself sympathizing with Sheldon. I’ve always been at least similar to him when it comes to getting a haircut. I don’t go to his extreme of having an exact schedule for getting it done, but like him, I have had the exact same haircut for many years and always go to the same place every time. In fact, all I have to do is sit down in the chair and whichever barber I get just has to ask “Clean it up?” to know what to do.
Ironic sidenote here: in the episode, Sheldon claims his mom sent his “haircut records” to his barber, and Leonard states there is no such thing. But if anyone has seen the commercials for Great Clips, that is essentially what they are now touting as keeping.
Anyway, the reason I now feel for Sheldon is several weeks ago, I realized it was about time for “a cleanup,” but it took me several weeks before I finally could get it done. It wasn’t because my barber was in the hospital or anything. It just seemed like something more urgent would come up, like clearing driveways of snow or something work-related.
Now, I didn’t go to the extremes that Sheldon did, like going to the hospital to try to induce his barber out of a coma only to be confused for an escaped patient from the psych ward. I also didn’t wake everyone up at three in the morning playing bongos. But, I was increasingly aware that my hair felt like it was too long, especially when I could feel it tickling the back of my neck, making me feel like it’s obvious to everyone that it’s too long. Every once in a while, I would even find myself playing with the back of my hair, gathering it up as if I could put it into a ponytail.
Eventually, like Sheldon, I was able to get that haircut done. But I must admit, I think he got the better end of the deal. Even though it got screwed up (unknowingly to Sheldon), he did wind up having it done by a gorgeous blonde neighbor, while I just got mine done by one of the same guys who usually does it (no offense intended).
Bill Stickels III is editor of the Isanti-Chisago County Star. He can be reached at 763-689-1181 ext. 107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.